I love my black-framed glasses--- I feel smart!

 I have had a lot on my mind lately but when I go to type it out, it never seems to want to flow outta me. something about my fingertips not wanting to move across the keyboard to let out everything I've been holding in. Words used to flow so easily through me, like a river... I had this current of words coursing through my veins that always wanted to be unleashed, and now... it seems like nothing wants to even escape from me. Like my words have found comfort in a place where I can't even recognize them as words-- just pure thought, emotion and feeling.

When they say that you change tremendously in the years that you attend college, they are not lying. But that change only goes so far. The core of who I am has not changed much at all. 

yes, there are differences in me. Major differences to some people, but only minor ones to me..
I definitely  don't sound like the peppy 16 year old that I was when i first started to blog (yes, I've been LJing for about 6 years. . . weird, huh. I figured it was time for a fresh start, and for a place where my friends can't get in my personal thoughts and criticize them). I am not as afraid to voice my opinion or stand up for myself. 

I still struggle with self-esteem and loving myself. I struggle with friendships and feeling that people are there for me. i am still loud-mouthed, I'm still loving, I still care about people with my entire heart. 

i still don't' believe anyone could love me, although now I ache for someone to lay next to at night and know that they are there for me forever... I crave for someone to love and take care of. 

I've changed from never wanting a family to wanting one. I want children on day. I want a husband, a house, a dog.. I want normalcy. 

I don't know there is so much going on and so little at the same time...