I feel like I have failed in a way

So, I have a Masters in psychology, worked in counseling for teenagers and have learned so much about how to help people who suffer from emotional / behavioral / mental issues. But for some reason, I feel like I can't help those who are closest to me. I either want to shake them or I don't know what to say. I am always there for my friends, especially my best friends, and I give them the space and emotional support that they need. But sometimes they are too far deep into their depression for me to help them. It is frustrating because you only want what is best for them. What do you do in that situation where depression is really ruining someone's life? They can't seem to snap out of it even though they try to do the things necessary for healing. The only issue I can see with my best friend is she is out of her medicine and can't get any right away. However, there are some unhealthy behaviors she exhibits that doesn't seem to be able to change, like obsessive thoughts. I don't know if it's even more severe because she is not on her medication because it is bad even when she is. I wish I could take all of her hurt away from her but it is hard. I hate to see her struggle. Oh well, if they are using coping skills and it isn't working, there isn't much a friend can do but listen. :(

Don't even know what to say!

I guess I just gave up on blogging? Forgot (again) all about this profile and everything that went with it. I have been basically living without a laptop for so long now that my internet usage is pretty minimal. I am tempted to delete every entry that existed before this one and start all over. There is so much that has gone on in my life it just doesn't even seem that those entries are even relevant. Although they do hold the background story of who I am now. Whatever, I will decide later what to do about those. I guess I want to be more private. Who knows what I want to be anymore!!! Currently living back in Myrtle Beach, SC where I grew up. Had some dreams about what it would be like here but it isn't anything like how I thought it would be. My friends all have children or are married. There isn't anyone that I can really call on to hang out the way Jennifer and I did in Rock Hill. Except for maybe Hayley who has stayed my tried and true best friend. She is so loyal and I love her. She is married and works a weird schedule so even that is hard to arrange. No more sleep overs unless I were to stay at her house, but that only has happened on New Years this year (2013). I stopped working in Mental Health, not because I'm not interested in it, but because there wasn't a job opportunity for me here to work in that field. Currently I'm working in Credentialing-- a part of medical billing and working for health care providers. It is boring. I fill out applications for providers to be apart of different insurance companies as they join these anesthesia groups. They have to be able to accept patients with the insurances those groups accept. I do filing, applications, log information... etc etc. However, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the people I work with. I miss rock hill, I miss my old job and I miss college. OOOOH boy do I miss Columbia College. I would love to go back to Columbia. My dream would be to work for them. But to be a professor I kind of would have to get my PH.D first. And I definitely want to do that. I am trying to get back emotionally where I should be. Want to be that old, driven me. I seemed to have lost myself in the past few years. But we will see how it goes. That might be for future blogs. But... I'm back. For how long? I don't know.